Author Archives: threeheadedblog

About threeheadedblog

Three gentlemen, writing.


You’ve probably washed dishes before, but never, like, professionally washed dishes, to the level of cleanliness I’m dealing with. I’m talking spotless, no grit, mirror-shine clean. The kind of clean you’d think just came off the damn production line; the … Continue reading

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Preserving the sanctity of the homerun trot

Nearly every moment in sport comes down to strategy, a decision, the pressure to make the right one, and with it the associated fear of failure. Pinch at the blueline to keep the puck in or hang back? Go for … Continue reading

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Donate to Science

The shutter snaps its gratifying little clicks and within uncountable milliseconds several photos are taken, each essentially capturing the same thimble-head shot of a thumb, the white of the purpling fingernail filled with a deep mottling of dirt and decay. … Continue reading

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The Diner

Could this possibly have been the Western Dream? A wife and husband slaving over a stove day and night, and for once the literary usage of “enslavement” feels apt; they are always there, glued inexorably to that grill top, adhered … Continue reading

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Wasting my time, and maybe yours.

On November 1st I sat down at my computer and attempted to just write until the words came to their natural conclusion. What follows is the result: First day of the month; first stab at a free write. This is … Continue reading

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Jester Lambasted for Mocking Diminutive Baron

(Originally published in the New Amsterdam Times, 1637) Today a jester from the court of King Lorne was lambasted and spat upon in the public square after her attempt at jesting was considered a gesture of contempt towards young Baron … Continue reading

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the bubble i live in

i still remember going to sleep the night george w. bush was reelected and waking up the next morning in disbelief. no, couldn’t have happened. he’s a buffoon. every comedian i watched, every musician or rapper i listened to, every … Continue reading

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